More Call Center Bloopers

Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info:
Agent: Can I have YOUR EXPIRATION DATE, sir?
Customer: My what?
Telesales agent giving promo spiels:
Agent: You called at the right time, ma'am. We have a lot of freebies to give away, such as free installation, free equipment, and free DVD player. That's a great offer, DI BA?
Customer: ???
Agent verifying info from customer:
Agent: Is that a P for..... (thinking)... Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like BING-BONG.
Customer trying to return a defective product:
Customer: I need to return this defective sauna belt that you delivered yesterday.
Agent: For that concern, you can call our customer service at
Customer: Call where???!!
Agent answering a call:
Agent: Thank you for calling about the Dish Network offer, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer).
Customer: So, I called the wrong number then?
Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling about the DirecTV offer, my name is Vince...
Agent wrapping up the sale:
Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules...
Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me?
Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir.
Agent verifying availability of valid mode of payment:
Agent: By the way, sir, do you have a CRAYDIT card in your name?
Agent getting promo code from customer:
Agent: Can I ask for the promo code? It's a bunch of letters.
Customers: Like ABCs?
Agent: Yes.
Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG....
Agent verifying customer's location:
Agent: That's W - I - S - C - O - N - S - I - N. So, you're from WESKUN-SIN?
Customer: No, it's Wis-con-sin.
Agent: Ah, OK, WES-KUN-SIN. And what's the country, ma'am?
Customer: Country?.. United States... You mean county, right?
Agent: Ah, yes...?
Agent giving the customer service web address:
Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in India, C- as in costume, U- as in you, S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O.... Oscar...........V- for Voy.....
Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:
Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me?
Customer: Say, what?
Agent trying to upsell a warranty:
Agent: ...... Here's an example: In California, a plane crashed into a customer's house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked!
Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer:
Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer?
Customer: What?
Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: Let me just ask you.... How much are paying with your current provider right now?
Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) MAGKANO??!!
Agent getting customer's address:
Agent: Can I have your address, please?
Customer: It's twenyfurfif-ysavan newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road)
Agent: Can you repeat that ULIT?
Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:
Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?
Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!
Tech Agent giving customer support:
Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama accent)
Agent: YUNG yellow cord, mheem...
Agent verifying info:
CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
(Siguro egoy 'tong customer n'ya.)
Agent taking survey:
CS: I was hoping you can take this survey with me... Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
(Magalang pa sya, ha?)
Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
Tech agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns)?
Customer: Pull out your what now?
Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard Bob.
Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....
Customer: I don't want to talk to you.
Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.
Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?
Customer: Yes!
Agent: DO yoU wANT to talk to God or You want to talk to Me?
Customer: $%$*&% , I rather talk to you....
Irate Customer: F***k you!
Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k YOU!" here...

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