Back to basics. deejaycmos

Makeover

Miss Charlene, JoRox, I need a room makeover! Please pimp my pad!

FOR MATURED AUDIENCES ONLY.

Nagpaplano ka ng pamilya. Gusto mo may pattern ang kasarian ng iyong mga supling. Paano mo ito gagawin?

Shettles Method which is based on the premise that sperm carrying the X and Y chromosomes have different characteristics and that you can influence the reproductive environment to favor one or the other. Here's how the theory goes:

It is the sperm that fertilizes the egg that will determine the sex of the baby. Some sperm carry the X-chromosome and some sperm carry the Y-chromosome. If an X-chromosome-carrying sperm fertilizes the egg, the baby will be a girl. If a Y-chromosome-carrying sperm fertilizes the egg, the baby will be a boy.

Click here for more details!

The Y-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

be faster and smaller than the X-chromosome carrying sperm.

die faster than the X-chromosome-carrying sperm.

The X-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

be slower than the Y-chromosome carrying sperm.

be better able to withstand the acidic cervical environment before fertile cervical fluid is produced.

Based on these premises, you can time intercourse, choose a sexual position that favors conception of your preferred sex and influence the reproductive environment to increase the likelihood of conceiving your preferred sex. These are the suggestions from Dr. Shettles:

To Get A Boy

(According to Shettles):

Time intercourse as close to ovulation as possible: The idea is that since the Y-chromosome sperm are faster than the X-chromosome sperm, there will be more Y-chromosome sperm who reach the egg, making it more likely that a Y-chromosome carrying sperm will fertilize the egg.
Abstain from intercourse for four to five days prior to ovulation. Have intercourse only just at the time of ovulation and just before.
Have intercourse that allows for deep penetration. Shettles recommends rear-entry (aka, "doggy-style"). The idea is that the sperm will be deposited closer to the cervix where cervical fluid is most friendly to the Y-chromosome sperm and where the “boy sperm” are more likely to survive since there is less distance to travel.
Men avoid tight clothes: heat kills off both types of sperm, but will kill off the less protected, smaller Y-chromosome sperm faster, according to Shettles.
Women have an orgasm: According to Shettles, female orgasm increases the alkaline secretions in the vagina that are favorable to the Y-chromosome carrying sperm. Shettles recommends having an orgasm before or at the same time as the male partner.

To Get a Girl

(According to Shettles):

Have intercourse 2-3 days before ovulation and avoid intercourse just before ovulation until 2 days after ovulation and when you have peak cervical fluid: The idea is that when you have sex a few days before ovulation, only the X-chromosome "girl sperm" will be left in the female reproductive tract waiting to fertilize the egg when it is released.
Have intercourse with shallow penetration: Shettles recommends "missionary position" or any position that will deposit the sperm slightly away from the cervix, giving advantage to the longer living, but slower X-chromosome-carrying sperm.
Women avoid orgasm: Shettles suggests women avoid orgasm because it makes the vaginal environment more alkaline, and less acidic and is disadvantageous to the X-chromosome "girl sperm".

Buwis-it

Nang ako'y kumain sa isang foodcourt, sige, pili lang nang kakainin. Yung combo meal, syempre..

Abah, nagulat ako nang sabihin kung magkano ang babayaran ko, more than I expected. Wala man lang nakasulat na, "Prices are exclusive of VAT."

Pang-attract kasi sa customer yung presyo na nagtatapos sa 9. Sa mata ng mga dukha, malaki na ang pagkakaiba ng 79 sa 80.

Sa America nga, may .99 pa silang nalalaman.

Bakit naman kasi mayroon pang breakdown ng VAT? tsaka, ang hirap mag-compute ng 12%, dati 10% lang, madali lang, urong mo lang yung decimal point, tapos dagdag mo dun sa orig. price. (Pinoy Henyo!)

Yun lang! Pa-impress uli sa trabaho!

Pulitiko Posters

first time ko mag-post about politics! Eksakto sa SONA ni GMA!

hindi ba kayo naaasar sa mga naglalakihang posters ng mga politikong, kulang na lang ay ipagsigawan na: "may utang na loob kayo sa akin dahil sa proyekong ito!"

Nagkalat ang mukha nya sa MayniLA!

ito ay napansin ni Rep. Teddy Casino, at gumawa nang bill ukol sa pag-kontrol ng mga nasabing posters.

ang tanong: pansinin kaya ito ng kanyang kapwa-Congressmen? syempre hindi, noh? paano pag wala nang posters? Hindi na mabango yung pangalan nila sa mga botanteng mangmang!

Maghahanap pa ako ng mga kapuna-punang posters...

yan lang muna sa ngayon! Pa-impress uli sa trabaho!

2006 Philippine Cup

Ngayon ko lang na-post, medyo busy sa trabaho.

Mali ang kinalabasan ng aming analysis ni pareng Quinito Henson.

Puredoods ang nagwagi. At ito ang aking mga nasaksihan sa loob ng Araneta Coliseum.

John Marc Pingris (surprise Finals MVP)

Syempre, Danica Sotto is in the house.

Syempre, sa pinaka-tuktok na lang ang hindi sold-out.

James Yap on the 15-foot line.

At ang pinaka-VIP sa audience...

Isipin nyo paano ako nakalapit ng ganyan sa kanila?
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Tama!
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Mali man kung iyong iisipin, kailangan ko din naman maranasan kung ano ang pakiramdam nang manood sa ringside. Tapos na ang game, pero ang higpit pa rin ng security papasok sa ringside... naka-isip ng paraan... Tumalon kami sa bawat sections, Upper Box A, Lower Box, Ringside!

Mga walang breeding! Hirit naman ng kasama ko, yun ba yung nilalagay sa manok, bago iprito?

Who is Davy Jones?

Its payback time for Davy Jones! For raising the Black Pearl from the depths for thirteen years, in return for Capt. Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp) soul.

He was a man of the sea, but one day, he fell in love. (I don't know if it's the sea or a woman.) Davy couldn't stand the pain of being away from his love, so he carved out his heart, placed it in a box, and set it down deep into the ocean. A key is supposed to open the box, and upon stabbing the heart, the power of the seas will be removed from Davy.

The movie goes around that plot, the race to pay Jack's debt, Will's (Orlando Bloom) promise to his father that he will stab Jones' heart so his father would be freed, and other twists and turns.

Check the other sides of the polyhedron!

What is the story behind William/Bill "Bootstrap" Turner Sr.?

When the ship's first mate Barbossa staged a mutiny, as narrated in the first movie, Bill Turner was the only man among them who did not side with the mutineers. When the chest of Aztec gold they found on the island turned out to be cursed, Bootstrap believed that they deserved to remain cursed for marooning Jack. Thus, he sent his piece of the gold back to his son for safekeeping. Barbossa was greatly angered by Turner's outburst and betrayal.

The members of the Black Pearl chained him to the cannonball and tossed him in the sea, he was being crushed by the weight of the ocean, unable to die, and unable to escape. At that moment, he was desperate for any way to escape, and when Davy Jones offered his services, Bootstrap gladly accepted.

Keira Knightley (Past and Present)

How much weight did she lost?

Seating Shuffle

sa wakas, natuloy din ang re-arrangement ng aming mga workstation dito sa office. Pahiwatig ba ito, na kabilang na kami sa lumalaki nilang pamilya? Sana nga...

Naninibago pa ako sa ngayon, dahil bago ang mga katabi ko.. Panibagong pakikisama ulit.

yun lang! Pa-impress ulit sa trabaho.

Feng Shui

may nabalitaan lang ako, feng shui for templates, july daw best time to change your templates.

pati ba naman sa templates, may feng shui din?

sundin ko na rin, naniniwala ako sa mga pampa-bwenas, baka dumami readers ng blog ko, di ba?

yun lang! pa-impress uli sa trabaho!

Pinoy DotA

Before, it's Half-Life counterstrike.. Now, it's Warcraft DotA. It has been a craze for months!

At ngayon, ang latest innovation ng mga Pinoy, ang War of Philippine Heroes! (magaling tayo pagdating sa kopyahan!)

DotA rin sya! Pinoy ang mga characters, items, at sounds. Kwela!

sa una naming paglalaro, Comedy!!! Sobra! Nakakatawa!!! Ang dalawang side na naglalaban ay ang "Liga ng Pag-asa" at ang "Pwersa ng Kadiliman."

Pilian ng heroes pa lang... Walang humpay na tawanan na agad! Choose among: Darna, Panday, Manananggal, People's Champ (Manny Pacquiao), El diablo (sino yun?), Captain barbel, Kristala, Lizardo (siya ba ung kaaway ni panday?), Kumander bawang, Polgas, Khadaffi Janjalani. Andun din sila Andrew E., Volta, Jollibee, Dr. Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio at pati si Pres. GMA! Hahaha!!!

Bilihan na ng items, gumugulong na ako sa katatawa!: Keso, "Peewee at Richie"(yung chichirya!), Choorizo ni Kuya Non, Lantaka, Cecon (perseverance, obvious ba?), Flying without wings. Eto malupet, pati yung description, Tagalog!

The Vagina Basher(!) - "siguradong puputok ang ulo ng etits mo pag na pukpok ka nito!"

Hand of Michael Jackson - "Lalo mong mamomolestiya ang mga kalaban mo gamit ang kamay na ito!!!"

Game na! Gamitan na ng skills! yung kay GMA, SONA (pampatulog sa kalaban)! Martial Law, CPR! at Hiwaga ng nunal!!! Hahahahahaha!!!

Yun lang kay GMA lang natandaan ko. Sa sobrang katatawa, nakalimutan ko na yung iba!

Pero may napuna kami, ang daming maling spelling! Minadali yata ang paggawa... O wala silang QA para itama yung mga mali... Kailangan nila ako doon!

Bago pa lang ang mapa kaya siguradong gaganda pa ito sa mga darating na mga araw ... Parang DotA rin! (daming versions!)

Siguradong madadagdagan din ang mga heroes, konti pa lang kasi! Tsaka iba tayong mag-isip ng kalokohan eh!

Captain Barbell's Non-Original Story

An extreme rip-off of Smallville. Isumbong ko kaya sa Warner Brothers for infringement...

Kahit simula pa lang, hindi man lang ibahin yun kulay ng sasakyan.

May love triangle din!

Meron ding mag-amang, walang alam kundi magpayaman at gustong angkinin ang lahat! At gustong malaman ang sekreto ng superhero.

Richard Gutierrez - CK/Kal-El/Superman
Richard Gomez - Lionel Luthor
Patrick Garcia - Lex Luthor
Camille Prats - Chloe Sullivan
Rhian Denise Ramos - Lana Lang

Anyway, reality sucks! Considering the education of today's youth are getting, the English language is no longer appreciated. I'm not saying that I'm very fluent speaking the language, at least I'm trying to improve my craft (composition-wise).. We're the Transformers, G.I.Joe, T-M-N-Turtles, Sesame Street generation.

Not like now that it's all tagalized.

Back to Captain Barbell, they're targeting the masa people, D-E class. (as always) Worse, even my dad is hooked! Damn! I have to compete for Smallville Tuesdays! (to have peace in the house, I need Smallville DVDs) How many of us still appreciate foreign shows?

Its ok to watch these celebrities in action. But if the story is redundant, I don't think I'll watch it anymore.

Figurine business

A new business idea!

Actually, this is not new.. It's already a business of a Malaysian artist. (Bad thing, I'm a poor Filipino with no credit cards)

Do you wish to have figurines that looks like you?
More samples!
minealesi.com offers this cool idea. Figurines are 4-5 inches tall. Just submit your most photogenic pic & your payment (of course!), to create your own cute sculpts.

Imagine looking at your funny face everyday, wouldn't that brighten your day? Here are some of their precious work of art..

But of course, innovation has its price. Tsk,tsk,tsk!

Pacquiao endorsements

Boxer-turned-endorser Manny Pacquiao is all over the boob tube nowadays. From fastfood fried chicken, wireless communication services, health supplements, socks, apparels, pain killers, dairy products, canned tuna to vinegar. (Some are even a family affair, with his wife and kids!) And now, the latest addition to his list of endorsements, the Magic Sing microphone videoke (take note: with matching choreography!) whew! P-in-acquiao mo na lahat!
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What's disturbing to me, he is also endorsing beer and liquors. Duh! Are you really drinking it?

The man is so hectic, attending businesses here and there. Are you still training for your fight?

What could be the next on his endorsements? He still missing Coca-Cola. A cigarette commercial? I don't think so, that's Lucio Tan's. Aha! How about a shaver commercial? Or how about Choc-Nut? HAHAHA!

Pinoy PichaPie has more ideas:

Boy Bawang, cornick
Maling, luncheon meat
Master, facial cleanser. (Sikreto ng mga gwapo!)
RC, cola (patok 'to, mura lang!)
Trust condoms (para safe si Jinky)
Payless Instant mami
Judge chewing gum
Lala fishcracker (pampulutan, kasabay ng SMB!)

You can submit your suggestions, my dear readers.

Rants in a bluemoon

Minsan sa buhay ng isang tao, hindi mo maiiwasang napuno sa hinanakit. Kaya ito, isusulat ko na lang, kaysa naman magwala ako sa inis:

Masubukan mo na bang mautusan ng ermats mo? (syempre naman! ano ka, astig?)

Eh, ang mapahiya dahil sa pinag-uutos nya?

Eto nangyari sa akin kagabi ng mautusan ako bumili ng Max's fried chicken. Syempre, ang huwarang anak, mabilis pa sa alas-kwatro. Pagdating dun, order agad ng chicken. Ang hindi nila alam, yung promo is good for dine-in only.

Syet! Anong gagawin ko dito? Kakainin kong mag-isa? Paano na silang naghihintay sa bahay? Kasi naman, hindi muna basahin nang mabuti yung ad, bago ako utusan! Pagkatapos kumirot, pina-"take out" ko kaagad. Bahala na sa sasabihin ng waiter!

Ang liit-liit naman nung manok.. hindi kakasya sa aming apat/lima/anim (unstable yung dami nang kakain). Kaya, ang huwarang anak, naghanap ng paraan. Hanap ng iba pang pagkain. Kahit manok lang ang bilin, maiintindihan naman ni ermats, dahil maliit nga talaga!

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Hay! Ang pagkakataon nga naman! Bakit ba kung kelan ako walang load, tsaka naman dadating ang sangkatutak na tanong mula sa aking mga contacts? Syempre, wala akong magawa, hindi ako maka-reply! Saang alkansya na naman maghahanap ng pang-load?

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Hindi ko masyadong ma-appreciate ang nabili kong digicam. Matagal syang mag-capture ng "Kodak moments." Laging motion blurred. Or sobra lang talaga manginig ang kamay ko. Kahit na!

Nasanay siguro ako dun sa lumang camera na de-film. Yung madami ka pang pipihitin, para maganda ang kuha mo. Para kang nagtitimpla ng juice.

Hindi tuloy ako nakakuha ng snaps ng mga taong "in action." Pang-posing lang talaga! Hay!

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Laking pasasalamat ko at mayroon na akong trabaho. Hindi lang basta trabaho, disenteng trabaho! Sabi nila, mabibili ko na ang mga nais kong bilhin. Pero kung iisiping mabuti, hanggang saan ang itatagal ng 10 'quiao? Sa pagkain at pamasahe pa lang, kalahati na agad! Tapos, may mga nagpapalipad-hangin na gustong magpalibre! Whew!

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Eto, nakakabwisit talaga! Ikaw kaya ang mapuna, abusive ka daw gumamit ng internet. Of all people naman, ako pa ang na-pinpoint..

Yun lang! Pa-impress uli sa trabaho!

Doughnuts, Donuts

"Why do donuts have holes?" I recall this question was asked to me, during one of those call center interviews I had.

But really, have you ever wondered?

Call center interviews will ask this question in the years to come, telling that there's no right or wrong answer. But really, there's an answer to it! I don't know if they (call center interviewers, HR people, hello!) know this...

Anyway, I will immortalize the answer to this..

A sea captain named Hanson Gregory was trying to eat a fried cake which was popular back in the old days. Capt. Gregory was trying to steer the ship and eat the cake at the same time because he was a pig and a very thoughtless driver, not unlike people on cell phones today.

Capt. Gregory kept crashing into the other ships because he was paying more attention to his fried cake than to the other ships. So, Capt. Gregory stuck the cake onto a spoke on the boat's steering wheel, thus accidentally creating the first doughnut. After that Capt. Gregory told his cook to make his fried cakes with holes so he could keep eating his cakes while he drove, thus causing several more boating accidents.

Interestingly, Gregory didn't die in one of his many boating accidents, he died of chronic heart disease brought on by all the doughnuts. Hehehe!

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Personal (I guess!): Call center people know this: It's America's independence day today! Let's sing the Star-Spangled Banner here in the Philippines.

(For the record, I'm not working as CCR, TSR, whatever! Actually, I am always rejected during interviews. Dunno why?)

Sunday Sports Recap

Manny Pacquiao won against Oscar Larios, as expected! It was staged here. Still, the media coverage is delayed! Duh!

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It's do-or-die PBA Sunday!

Purefoods did the impossible, winning a best-of-seven series, 4-3, after being down 3-1, against Alaska.

Red bull won the other Game 7 against San Miguel Beer. The game is closely fought in the final 2 minutes, and sadly, it had to end on a buzzer beater. (Shit! I cheered for SMB!)

It's a rematch from Fiesta Conference earlier this year. I would go for Red Bull, (although I hate them) primarily because of manpower. Purefoods has a lot of injuries lately.